dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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