This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
