if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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