I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
