no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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