Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
