you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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