And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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