So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
