Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
