He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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