just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
