the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
