So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
