I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
