His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
