that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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