There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
