Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
