No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
