he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Drake has all the answers
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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