we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
