There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
