So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Randomize
