I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
