just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
