Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
