When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
