guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
