you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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