I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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