No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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