ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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