This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
