Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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