Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
