grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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