How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
