Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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