I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
