Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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