i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
