so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
