His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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