I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
