dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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