you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
