Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
