So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
