And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
