Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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