My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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